Happy 2011!

That's what everybody in English speaking countries will be singing at midnight 31st Dec. (and at 7 AM Jan 1st too) but few really know what the words mean. Its a traditional Scottish song, with words written by Scottish poet Robert Burns, probably inspired by some traditional verse. HERE is the translation into English.

So happy new year everybody!

Merry Christmas

The time has come for Christmas greetings and I'm always quite at a loss as to what to post. So this year it's going to be an invitation to come to the EOI celebration tomorrow (lots of food, drink, live music, and a good laugh)...

Update Thursday 23rd
Thanks everybody who came to the party yesterday, it was really nice to see you all there eating, drinking and having a good time. So I'll change this post a bit and embed this e-Christmas 2.0 sent by Mireia (4C).



Some music ...

	BB King - Christmas Celebration
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

And I'd like to repeat a classic from last year:

Stephen Fry is a well known British actor, writer, and comedian.
Here's the script if you need it (some aspects you've been working on this year highlighted in yellow) .

I wish you a merry Christmas and all the best for the coming year !

Shoot this Bear?

This is, to my mind, a great piece of advertising:




Type anything you want ...Kiss? Talk? Drink?....? and help the hunter rewrite the story!
Make sure you have "English" selected in your language settings (bottom of the page), or click here for the English version.

What is Beauty?

For me, beauty is being able to draw like this!

Denis Dutton is a philosophy professor. Animator Andrew Park has illustrated Denis Dutton's theory on beauty -that art, music and other beautiful things are a need built into our systems, and a core part of human nature with deep evolutionary origins.

*If the drawings and words are not enough, you can turn on the subtitles in English or, alternatively, you can also get the video from 'English Central' , with its hide/show script and dictionary.

Buy Nothing Day

As we were saying the other day, time flies. We were sunbathing on the beach a couple of weeks ago and now Christmas is just round the corner. And what is Christmas about (apart from family getting together, love, and all that)? Shopping, of course. In order to make people aware that we live in a consumer society (really?) and that you don't actually need half of what you buy, Buy nothing day is celebrated every Nov. 27th (OK, it was last week, but you can also make it a 'buy nothing week'. 'Buy nothing day' tries to counterbalance the craze of Black Friday, the day that signals the start of the shopping season in the USA, and that can be as dangerous as this.

This week we are going to talk about shopping, business, work, AND connectors (in order to, although, in spite of, etc.) So before you fall into the Christmas shopping frenzy (in spite of the crisis) think that you can concentrate on learning English -it's safer and you can save money!

Breathe in Breathe out

Multisource political news, world news, and entertainment news analysis by Newsy.com

It's certainly reassuring to see that we are not the only ones with weird ideas here -though I agree that it takes a lot of breathing in and out, and a lot of physical and mental control to cope with certain policies and attitudes of our city councils/governments. Watch this video -transcript included- and just picture the situation: you receive a parking ticket with a yoga pose and some 'take it easy' advice printed on it in an attempt to cool down your anger. Do you think you would relax? Would you think it's a joke? Make a note of it - it wouldn't be a surprise to see this brilliant idea implemented here one of these days. Ommm...

Don't touch my junk!

Click on the image and find out about the new security measures being enforced in the USA: either a patdown procedure,which includes the touching of passengers' inner thighs and women's breasts, or a full body scan.

From pilots' unions to viral online protests, Americans are telling the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) that the government has gone too far in the name of security, equating the new searches to "sexual molestation" or "sexual assault." Pilots are against both the patdown procedure and the alternative full body scanner.

"If you touch my junk I'm gonna have you arrested!" That's what a 31 year old passenger told the officers who were giving him detailed instructions on the new methods.
- Text and video HERE
- And the interview with John Tyner, the offended passenger, explaining what happened HERE

Apart from having to take off my jacket, my boots, my socks, my belt, my watch, and having a lady searching all over my body because the metal detector (search arches) invariably keeps beeping when I walk through it, I've always been treated nicely (!). As a passenger, you want to be as safe as possible once on the plane, but whether these invasive security measures are useful or not to prevent a terror attack is a real mystery to me.
PD: By the way, some of you mentioned yesterday that you didn't like to fly Ryanair. READ what happened the other day on a Ryanair flight.

Road to Grammar

This is a website devoted to language learning with lots of quizzes and explanations on every aspect of the language, from very easy to advanced (as usual, click on the picture). There is a Games section which I find highly addictive - I particularly like FLUENT and WORD SLAMM (a kind of scrabble). There is also a 'Road to Grammar' version for kids, so everybody in your family can play.

Have fun!

PD: Talking about words that English has borrowed from other languages, we mentioned the other day that 'machismo' is one of them, and you can read it HERE in the Independent's article on recent changes in surnames in Spain.

Bits and Pieces

What can I do to improve my Reading Co? What can I do to improve my listening skills? It's so frustrating, I never understand anything! How can I remember all these words? How can I ....? OK, you are lucky to be studying English in the 21st Century. Here are some recommendations:

For you listening practice, try English Central -best Learning English website of the year 2010. There are lots of short videos -pieces of news mainly- and you can choose if you want them with or without subtitles in English, you can click on a word and see the definition, you can record yourself ... there are lots of things you can do that sure will help you improve your listening skills. Japanese technology at its best and it's FREE -you only have to register. But...oh no, not again!...REGULAR practice is needed. Click on the logo below and you'll be taken to the English Central website.

Newsy videos (also in the 'video bits' section) is also a very good site which offers the different sides of a story and -a bonus for you- the transcript.

The "Reading Comprehension Practice" is a new section on the blog where you'll find the type of texts and Reading compehension exercises used for the Cambridge First Certificate exam, and also for the EOI Level 4 exam (Reading Co. only).

Remember that regular use of your workbook is also essential and it will help you refresh things done in class. And last, but not least, I know you have ALL started to read the "Curious incident...", but just in case you haven't, here's a small presentation to help get you started.


Class time is NOT enough, so remember to take your regular homeopathic doses of English !

-And can't you just give me a pill that I can swallow and get it over with? Sorry, no pills now, maybe in the 22nd Century.

**By the way, how many relative sentences with a preposition can you find in the video?

The Tell-Tale Heart

We've had enough horror stories lately, and I'm not particularly fond of the genre, but you know that I do like E.A.Poe: The Tell Tale Heart, first published in 1843, "a story told through the eyes of a madman who, like all of us, believed he was sane. "

True!—nervous—very, very nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad?’’


The story is a psychological portrait of a mad narrator who kills a man because he didn't like his 'vulture eye' and ultimately his guilt and madness give him away in the final hallucination that the man's heart is still beating under the floorboards. HA-HA-HA...

This is just a pre-view. You'll have to go to other versions to see the complete story. It's a really short piece, so you can read it HERE

- Columbia pictures 1953 Animation , narrated by James Mason.

- Vincent Price version HERE. You probably recognized Vincent Prince's laugh as part of the rap he performed in Michael Jackson's Thriller, already a classic for Halloween.

- And some more music: Alan Parson's Tell-Tale Heart in Tales of Mystery and Imagination, a record inspired in Poe's work.

**If you like E.A.Poe and want to see different versions of 'The Raven' (The Simpson's included), go to last year's entry.

Happy Halloween, or castanyada, or whatever you celebrate!

Innit?

The other day we were talking about tag questions, and we mentioned that sometimes all the variety of tag-questions including the use of all the auxilliaries is sometimes reduced by teenage slang to 'innit?' (isn't it?). Ok, Emma Thompson doesn't like that, and she doesn't like the teenage use of 'like' either. You can read it HERE.

Slang : very informal language that is usually spoken rather than written, used specially by particular groups of people. In The Sun you can find a glossary for different types of slang from various occupational and lifestyle groups (hip-hop, police, etc).
DON'T use that in your compositions, ya smell me?

Our House

Download this mp3 from Beemp3.com

Have you seen our house? Our provisisonal provisisonal house is not in the middle of the street, it's up in 'La Collada'. Classes re-start Thursday 21st, 17:30. The show must go on.

Torn

This is not the post I had in mind, but as you problably know the wind has torn the roof off the building and all the 3rd floor classrooms are, as you can imagine, destroyed and flooded. You've probably received the 'avis urgent' we've been sending this afternoon to all students, and we have also posted an 'official' message in our school web page .
We've been working this afternoon trying to rescue what's left of our computers, beamers etc and still have to assess the damage done.
So I'm sorry to say next Wednesday, Thursay and Friday classes have been cancelled.
Now we are definitely torn and homeless. But let's be positive and think that every cloud has a silver lining.

	Natalia Imbruglia - Torn .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Please check the EOI Garraf webpage for official updates on the situation.

The answer, my friend, may be blowing in the wind. Who knows?

*** Update Oct 13th:
As you can see, I've posted a slide show so that you can have an idea of the damage. This is not going to be repaired anytime soon. Our laptops and beamers are OK. We are the trolley teachers.

Fantasy Festival time

Imagine your are nine years old and your favourite hero knocks on your classroom door. That's what happened to Beatrice Delap, who wrote to Captain Jack Sparrow asking for help to raise a mutiny against her teachers at Meridian Primary School in Greenwich, south-east London.
Watch the video, read the story HERE ... and depending on who you call I'll join you in the mutiny.

• a heartthrob: a famous man, often a singer or an actor, who is attractive to many women
• to turn up: to arrive or appear somewhere, usually unexpectedly or in a way that was not planned

And a tribute to John Lennon in his 70th birthday

	The Beatles - Rain .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Here his 10 best songs (according to The Huffington Post) on video.

*** Update October 10th

OOOps, and a tribute to Solomon Burke, the king of soul ("everybody, needs somebody"...remember?), who passed away this morning in Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport, on his way to a sold out show.

Minimal pairs

Sorry I don't want to repeat blog entries but the other day we were talking about pronunciation, and I think this story is particularly funny and illustrative of how a sound can completely change the meaning of a word:

These words are called “minimal pairs”, and here (and in your multi-rom) you have many other good examples:

http://www.shiporsheep.com/page1.html

(By the way, sorry about the dirty words -I hope nobody takes offence ... and thanks Anna, happily living in London this year, for sending the link last year).

And now, talking about pronunciation and current events at the same time, in this Daily Express cartoon you can see that problems are pretty much the same in Britain as in Barcelona. The lady is reading a newspaper that says "Yobs rule Britain", but you know that Job/Yob are two different things, don't you?

Q & A

Do you kow what the hottest place on Earth is? Can rocks grow? How far does dust blow in the wind? How long is a martian year?
Test your knowledge of scientific facts and figures with these 101 questions from Live Science.

If you'd prefer the more ethereal, philosophical, or just bizarre, unexpected, trivial and perverse kind of questions (Who invented buttons? How do you mend a broken heart? Do I need a mobile phone?) try The Guardian's Notes and Queries, an old favourite. This is a very popular site in which for more than 15 years readers have been posting questions and answers to what you always wanted to know and were too afraid to ask. It comes in different categories depending on your field of interest.

And if you want to go really deep into the core of philosophy the 10 big questions will probably give you food for thought and leave you wondering.

**Browse through the questions, play with the answers, and make sure you perfectly understand word order in the different types of questions (direct, indirect, subject, object, etc)

OK then, any questions (or answers) anybody?

Chunking and gridding

Those of you who have kids at primary school level should start brushing up on your maybe long forgotten maths skills. This year British kids will be learning an apparently better method for long divisions and multiplications. Except for those of us who have always had problems with numbers, it's easy to do 3 times 4 (4 x 3), but try "twenty-three times three hundred and five" (305 x 23)!
- Not clear enough ? In this BBC article " Why parents can't do Maths today" you'll find more step by step explanations, instructions and also, quite interesting, parents' opinions.
- And Here you can test your skills at basic addition, subtraction, times tables, etc. and also learn some maths vocabulary.

Don't ask me. It's all Greek to me .

Hi again

Hi again, ex-level4, level4-to-be... I hope you've had a good summer break and you are ready, looking forward to, just can't wait to start the new course. Since this year I'll be repeating Level4, I thought I could keep the same blog, so no need to do a new one, but as you can see I've changed things a bit -colour, layout, etc. Also, I've just deleted the 'class stuff links' and 'vox links' so that I can periodically add them again as we work on the different units.
OK, so that you can warm up a little, and just to continue with animal stories, this happened a couple of weeks ago in Coventry, England: a lady dumped a cat into a bin... and she was caught on CCTVcameras - damn cameras! Lola, the terrified cat, was trapped in the bin for 15 HOURS before Darryl, her owner, finally found her the following morning. Britons were so enraged by the woman's action that she is receiving death threats, needs police protection, and the RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals -remember Adrian Mole?) are leading an investigation into the incident.

Video on woman dumping cat into bin
Mail Online: Read the story
BBC Video: Lola's owner interviewed.

Woman apologizes/defends her actions - The Guardian
This cartoon appeared in The Sun

I'm a cat lover myself, but would you say they are overeacting? How should the cat-dumper lady be punished? So be careful with the CCTV cameras next time !

***Update September 20th:
Catwoman (anti-cat? woman) charged

Summer whale

It was not my intention to work on the blog this summer (though I'm not on holiday yet and, as you can see, I'm playing with new layouts, colors etc) and I found this incredible pic of something that happened a couple of weeks ago so I thought I wanted to share it with you (you? who? hello? is there anybody there?) Most of all because we had that controversy last year about whales, and lions and all that. Obsessed with whales ? Bff,I wouldn't say so... but I like them, and I do find this photo impressive. I'd love to see one like this ... ok, from my balcony. So what happened? Read this
- Follow up: For those of you who thought the photo was manipulated, here's the video evidence. Yacht owners are being investigated for harassing the whale by getting too close to it.

I hope you have a whale of a time this summer!

Just a couple of things

Just to remind you that on June 28th your marks will be posted:
- Online: you'll only see '(no)apte/a', NP, NQ, but not your scores for each skill. Be patient with technology since the system tends to crash when everybody tries to log in at the same time, or ...
- EOI's notice board: you'll see your scores for the five skills and your final mark.

So what then?
FAQs (Frequently asked questions):
- "I got 65 (or more) and I'm very happy."
Congratulations! I knew you would!" Try to read a little in summer, or watch movies, or listen to podcasts, speak, cook, sing ...do whatever you can in English so that you don't forget it all!

- "I got 65 but I didn't really mean it! I don't think I'm prepared for L5"
Oh, well, too late, too bad, so sorry. Good luck next year!

- "Oh, no ! I didn't get the f*#`* 65!
It would be suicidal to get to L5, so do L4 once again. Language learning is a difficult equation, certainly more complex than divisions into levels. Take it easy, take your time, try once more and you'll end up with a much better chance of passing L4 and then going on to L5.

On Monday 28th and Tuesday 29th, classtime, I'll be available to comment on your results if you need it -or just to say hello if you come to see your marks on the notice board.

Please remember that for the first time we'll have this 'matricula online' on specific days in July as Jordi, our secretary, explained to you in class. Please ask Secretaria if you have any doubts or questions on this and make sure you get your 'matricula' in order if you want to continue studying English next year.

And finally, just to tell you I've been very happy with you this year, and I'd like to wish you a well deserved summer break "lazing on a sunny afternoon, in the summertime":

	The Kinks - Sunny Afternoon .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Past is history, future is a mystery, so whether I'll keep updating this blog from now on is something nobody, not even me, knows. Thanks for your attention and comments, and I do hope you continue your studies with us next September!

Exam time

Exam time is always stressful (both for students and for teachers, I should say) but fortunately there are remedies/techniques to help you cope with exam stress:

- Chocolate addiction: Watch the video, read the story.

- Relaxation techniques based on hypnosis: Three samples that can work wonders. Close your eyes, breathe slowly and deeply, turn up the volume and let your subconscious mind do the rest.
Overcome exam nerves Sample 1
Overcome exam nerves Sample 2
Develop your self-confidence Sample


- Humour: Monty Python's "Job Interview" sketch (it's a job interview, but it might as well be an oral exam!). With subtitles in Portuguese so that you can practice two languages at the same time.

And finally, Bob Marley's legendary "Three little birds".


So whichever sytem you choose, just relax, keep the right dose of adrenaline ready for action, and " don't worry about a thing/'cos every little thing's gonna be all right! "

Food for Thought (or Living on Light)

Do you think you could live without eating or drinking? Scientific evidence would say you can't, but this man is apparently challenging all scientific knowledge so far. However, scientists are curious, open-minded people so that's why they are studying this man, who's spent 70 years of his life without food or drink. Can you believe it? If you find it difficult to understand the Inglish (India-English) in this Al-Jazeera video, you can read the basics here.

But as it usually happens, it looks like there's nothing new under the sun:

- What is Inedia? Fasting as a Lifestyle Choice

- How can this be possible ? Here you'll find a religious, a scientific and an esoteric answer.

- And what the skeptics say at The skeptics dictionary

Mmmmh...I don't think I could do without chocolate ... aren't they all out to lunch?

The Inner city

The inner city is a source of problems, but also a source of music and art in general.

- God and the inner city: A documentary that explains how faith-based groups, together with social workers and police officers are trying to help inner city kids away from violence, drugs, unemployment and poverty in Boston, Philadelphia and Washington.

- Gangsta Rap and Inner City Life: The origins of hip hop and rap in the American inner cities.

- Grandmaster Flash is one of the pioneers of hip hop. I'm sure you've heard The Message , an old-school song about life in the inner city. The lyrics are worth reading.
Don't push me 'cos / I'm close to the edge

I'm trying not to lose my head

Walking On The Moon

After more than 40 years, the NASA has released a new version of the original video of man's first walk on the Moon, enchanced with the technology we have now. Here you'll see all the explanations, a kind of "making of " of the original live 1969 video.

However, some people think this is a hoax, and that nobody has ever set foot on the moon. Have a look at the arguments in favour of these conspiracy theories...

...which have also been easily debunked : The Guardian

And some music to go with it: "If you believe they put a man on the Moon..."

In the news

Earthquakes, floods, landslides... and now a volcano eruption. Flights across Europe grounded and passengers stranded.

Video: Beautiful images of the volcano

Video : Latest news on the volcano ash cloud (banned, do check before you leave, likely, I'd rather be down here safely than ..., how long will the volcano ..., it doesn' sound like .... etc.)

Interactive: Do you have to travel? Trace the path of the cloud, just in case.

Every cloud has a silver lining . Listen to The sounds of Silence

The times online. Exams, hospitals, supermarkets hit by cloud

...and a stranded couple getting married over the internet. They must be on cloud nine!

Bits and pieces

We were with 'used to' last week to express habits or repeated actions in the past, and I fogot to mention that you can also use 'would' for that purpose, as you can see in this fabulous song from eons ago:

When I was a little bitty baby
My mama would rock me in the cradle ,
In them old cotton fields back home; (colloquial use of 'them' here)

It was down in Louisiana,
Just about a mile from Texarkana,
In them old cotton fields back home.

The only thing is that you cannot use this 'would' form with stative verbs (Mr. Oxford explains that for you in the Grammar bank). I'll mention that tomorrow in class. Just remind me if I don't. Great band, Creedence Clearwater Revival .

And ...besides, although, frustrated and furious, they've been beaten, rather than, he said, he added, hope, as he celebrated, give up, twice more, brilliantly, plenty of, breathless ... a bit of Reading Comprehension for your daily practice .

Sleep and dreams

Dream Caused by the Flight of a Bee around a Pomegranate One Second Before Waking Up. Salvador Dalí, 1944

We spend a good half of our lives sleeping. Do you remember your dreams? Do you think your dreams have a meaning? Have you ever had a premonitory dream? Do you have recurring dreams? Have you ever tried to have your dreams interpreted? Try this then.

	The Beatles - I'm Only Sleeping .mp3
	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Lyrics

Good night ... sleep tight .... and may all your dreams come true.

April fool!

Top 10 April Fool's Day Hoaxes @ Yahoo! Video

Making History

The controversial health care reform bill, a defining issue of Obama's presidency, has been passed. That means that nearly all Americans will have the right to health care. Watch the video and hear him say:


"When faced with crisis we did not shrink from our challenge -we overcame it. We did not avoid our responsibility -we embraced it, we did not fear our future -we shaped it."

In this Newsy video you can see the different sides of the story:

and the transcript if you need it.
Congratulations! (even if some think that's very bad news...)

Beatles for Sale

Don't let me down! Abbey Road is reportedly up for sale. The recording studio is to be sold in order to help EMI's finances, which seem to be in a very bad state. The British music industry is hoping the company won't let them down by letting this landmark in British recording history disappear forever. If you ever go to Abbey Road you'll invariably find people crossing the street and taking photos. I wouldn't like to see a fast food restaurant in the place where the fab four recorded some of their albums. I really feel it would be a pity to lose Abbey Road. Do you think you could afford to buy it?
Watch the video
Watch the most famous zebra crossing

Read the article (The Guardian)
Listen to Sir Paul's comments

Granny DJ rocks the dance floor

Who said it's too late to start a new career? DJ Ruth is 69 years old and she's rocking some of the most prestigious clubs in France. It all started one day when she went to her grandson's birthday party and the man at the door told her: "I don't think you want to go in there, madam"
"I'd rather think I do, because it's my grandson's birthday."- she answered. And she liked the music, (the noise,she says), the lights, the energy, the kids enjoying themselves...
Close to 70, do you think she should start thinking about hanging up her headphones? She's got a full schedule of gigs (and a lot of fun, I guess), so why should she?
I know, it's not really rock and roll, but she likes it.

Should animals be kept in captivity?

You probably know that just last week a trainer was killed by a killer whale at a Sea World in Orlando (Newsy video Transcript). Quite an anomaly? The killer whale must have taken revenge? Something went wrong and the whale might have misinterpreted something (the trainer's pony tail, they say): read story and watch impressive video of trainer and whale.

I do love watching dolphins jump and play, but I'd rather see them in the ocean than in a swimming pool. And I definitely don't like to see lions and tigers, elephants, giraffes or crocodiles locked in cages or confined in small and poorly kept grounds. However, I must admit I used to love going to the zoo as a kid. So Read the pros and cons of keeping animals in captivity (The Independent). What do you think?

UFO sightings declassified

Flying Toblerones, mysterious illnesses and silky-white substances, even a triangular shaped object hovering above an MP 's house (read story) are among hundreds of close encounters described in top-secret files released just last week by the Ministry of Defence (MoD). More than 6,000 pages of material covering sightings across Britain from 1994 to 2000 (read story).

A "close encounter" -or just a sighting- can be such a baffling experience that it will probably leave you speechless, so what do you do then? You sketch it.

How much of it is actually real? According to Nick Pope, "95% shouldn't be taken seriously" ... so what about the remaining 5%? the MoD admit they are "genuinely puzzled". So if you are genuinely interested in reading these files, you can download them from the National Archives. How I wish I could make friends with an alien from a remote galaxy!

Amazing! Lyrics training is a new beta site that helps you improve your ability to understand English through music and songs lyrics. You can choose from three different levels of difficulty . The clip will pause automatically at the end of each line and some words will be blanked out for you to guess. There are around 100 songs -quite a lot for a start. As it's always the case, you have to register, but it's free. Great for pronunciation purposes!

The Year of the Tiger

According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2010 is the Year of the Tiger, which starts on February 14, 2010 and ends on February 2, 2011. The Tiger is the third sign in the Chinese Zodiac cycle, and it is a sign of bravery. It keeps away the three main tragedies of a household: fire, thieves and ghosts. A pity it doesn't keep away overhunting, deforestation and poaching , which are putting big cats in danger of extinction .
Read the facts (The Guardian on World Wildlife Fund)
Watch this video about three albino tiger cubs born in Santiago de Chile's zoo (ITN)
I wish you a happy year of the tiger!

It's no fun to be Yellow

Just yesterday the American writer J.D.Salinger died (read full story, watch video). 'The Catcher in the Rye', his first novel about a teenager growing up in an adult 'phony' world, became a classic in American literature. This is an excerpt containing... guess what? Lots of conditional 3 structures.

I wished I knew who’d swiped my gloves at Pencey, because my hands were freezing. Not that I’d have done much about it even if I had known. I’m one of these very yellow guys. I try not to show it, but I am. For instance, if I’d found out at Pencey who’d stolen my gloves, I probably would’ve gone down to the crook’s room and said, “Okay. How ‘bout handing over those gloves?” Then the crook that had stolen them probably would’ve said, his voice very innocent and all, “What gloves?” Then what I probably would’ve done, I’d have gone in his closet and found the gloves somewhere…I’d have taken them out and showed them to the guy and said, “I suppose these are your…gloves?” Then the crook probably would’ve given me this very phony, innocent look, and said, “I never saw those gloves before in my life. If they’re yours, take ‘em”… Then I probably would’ve just stood there for about five minutes… I’d just stand there, trying to look tough. What I might do, I might say something very cutting and snotty, to rile him up—instead of socking him in the jaw. Anyway, if I did say something very cutting and snotty, he’d probably get up and come over to me and say, “Listen, Caulfield. Are you calling me a crook?...All I probably would’ve said would be…”Nobody’s calling anybody a thief. All I know is my gloves were in your…galoshes.” It could go on like that for hours. Finally, though, I’d leave his room without even taking a sock at him. I’d probably go down to the can and … watch myself getting tough in the mirror…It’s no fun to be yellow.”

Make up

It looks like British parents are having problems teaching their children to talk (read full story) and at the same time the government says that primary school children should learn Mandarin and Arabic (read full story).
Well, you can't complain too much here, don't you think so?
Language note: Remember that one of the meanings of the phrasal 'to make up' is to invent a story, an excuse, etc. often in order to deceive. You say 'you couldn't make it up' when you want to express disbelief or incredulity. The parents in the cartoon can't believe what they are reading.

Avatar Blues

It seems that some people are experiencing the Avatar Blues. According to the CNN, "James Cameron's completely immersive spectacle "Avatar" may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora."

Read Full story and click on the image for the CNN video.

On another note, it seems that Avatar has been banned in China because its plot is too similar to what's going on in a region of that country. Read full story.
In either case, fact is stranger than fiction. Or...is that why you were a bit sad the other day?

If Haiti were a bank ...

It must be difficult to produce a cartoon about the calamity of the earthquake in Haiti, but seeing that the international aid is so slow in reaching the country, The Guardian's Steve Bell's cartoon depicts the situation brilliantly.
You can easily figure out the rest of the sentence: If Haiti were a bank ... "help would have arrived / would be arriving much faster", or something to that effect (remember the many banks we have had to rescue lately due to the crisis).
Language note: This is a Conditional 2 sentence (used to express hypothetical situations). The tenses involved are Past - Conditional, the past tense being used as a subjuntive.

Woman survives eight days trapped in lift

This happened in Sitges, and the poor woman probably had nobody to talk to ...about the Arctic weather we've been having in Sitges lately -you can see it's white with snow in the photograph (probably taken three or four years ago). Read full article

The Deep Freeze

It's freezing cold here but in the UK they are getting Arctic tempertatures. How to describe such weather conditions? Temperatures fall, drop, plummet below zero... freezing nights, biting winds, snow-white landscapes, icy roads ... Click on the image and get the latest weather reports in audio, video and ice-cold words.
Who said global warming?

How to say 2010

Some of you probably think that the new decade will start next year, but that's the recurring dilemma we have every 10, 100, or 1000 years. In this cartoon by Chris Riddell from The Observer you see the remains of the last decade, called the 'noughties', from 'nought' (and also playing with the word "naughty"). The two teenagers symbolise the new decade. Why? There is currently much debate about what we should call the new decade, and one suggestion is "the teens" (the terrible teens? The terrific teens? Time will tell!)

But what do we call the new year? Two thousand and ten? Two thousand ten? Twenty ten? Twenty-o-ten? Two-0-one-0? The Seattle Times has a possible answer, and if you listen to this report from from KCBS in San Francisco you'll find out what some Americans think.