It's no fun to be Yellow

Just yesterday the American writer J.D.Salinger died (read full story, watch video). 'The Catcher in the Rye', his first novel about a teenager growing up in an adult 'phony' world, became a classic in American literature. This is an excerpt containing... guess what? Lots of conditional 3 structures.

I wished I knew who’d swiped my gloves at Pencey, because my hands were freezing. Not that I’d have done much about it even if I had known. I’m one of these very yellow guys. I try not to show it, but I am. For instance, if I’d found out at Pencey who’d stolen my gloves, I probably would’ve gone down to the crook’s room and said, “Okay. How ‘bout handing over those gloves?” Then the crook that had stolen them probably would’ve said, his voice very innocent and all, “What gloves?” Then what I probably would’ve done, I’d have gone in his closet and found the gloves somewhere…I’d have taken them out and showed them to the guy and said, “I suppose these are your…gloves?” Then the crook probably would’ve given me this very phony, innocent look, and said, “I never saw those gloves before in my life. If they’re yours, take ‘em”… Then I probably would’ve just stood there for about five minutes… I’d just stand there, trying to look tough. What I might do, I might say something very cutting and snotty, to rile him up—instead of socking him in the jaw. Anyway, if I did say something very cutting and snotty, he’d probably get up and come over to me and say, “Listen, Caulfield. Are you calling me a crook?...All I probably would’ve said would be…”Nobody’s calling anybody a thief. All I know is my gloves were in your…galoshes.” It could go on like that for hours. Finally, though, I’d leave his room without even taking a sock at him. I’d probably go down to the can and … watch myself getting tough in the mirror…It’s no fun to be yellow.”

Make up

It looks like British parents are having problems teaching their children to talk (read full story) and at the same time the government says that primary school children should learn Mandarin and Arabic (read full story).
Well, you can't complain too much here, don't you think so?
Language note: Remember that one of the meanings of the phrasal 'to make up' is to invent a story, an excuse, etc. often in order to deceive. You say 'you couldn't make it up' when you want to express disbelief or incredulity. The parents in the cartoon can't believe what they are reading.

Avatar Blues

It seems that some people are experiencing the Avatar Blues. According to the CNN, "James Cameron's completely immersive spectacle "Avatar" may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora."

Read Full story and click on the image for the CNN video.

On another note, it seems that Avatar has been banned in China because its plot is too similar to what's going on in a region of that country. Read full story.
In either case, fact is stranger than fiction. Or...is that why you were a bit sad the other day?

If Haiti were a bank ...

It must be difficult to produce a cartoon about the calamity of the earthquake in Haiti, but seeing that the international aid is so slow in reaching the country, The Guardian's Steve Bell's cartoon depicts the situation brilliantly.
You can easily figure out the rest of the sentence: If Haiti were a bank ... "help would have arrived / would be arriving much faster", or something to that effect (remember the many banks we have had to rescue lately due to the crisis).
Language note: This is a Conditional 2 sentence (used to express hypothetical situations). The tenses involved are Past - Conditional, the past tense being used as a subjuntive.

Woman survives eight days trapped in lift

This happened in Sitges, and the poor woman probably had nobody to talk to ...about the Arctic weather we've been having in Sitges lately -you can see it's white with snow in the photograph (probably taken three or four years ago). Read full article

The Deep Freeze

It's freezing cold here but in the UK they are getting Arctic tempertatures. How to describe such weather conditions? Temperatures fall, drop, plummet below zero... freezing nights, biting winds, snow-white landscapes, icy roads ... Click on the image and get the latest weather reports in audio, video and ice-cold words.
Who said global warming?

How to say 2010

Some of you probably think that the new decade will start next year, but that's the recurring dilemma we have every 10, 100, or 1000 years. In this cartoon by Chris Riddell from The Observer you see the remains of the last decade, called the 'noughties', from 'nought' (and also playing with the word "naughty"). The two teenagers symbolise the new decade. Why? There is currently much debate about what we should call the new decade, and one suggestion is "the teens" (the terrible teens? The terrific teens? Time will tell!)

But what do we call the new year? Two thousand and ten? Two thousand ten? Twenty ten? Twenty-o-ten? Two-0-one-0? The Seattle Times has a possible answer, and if you listen to this report from from KCBS in San Francisco you'll find out what some Americans think.